i love my lil monster

Kadyn seems to amaze me everyday with doing something new or doing something over and over again. He seems to love rolling overnow and just traveling though the house by rolling. He reminds me of a steam rroller. HE is an amazeing baby!

Today Kadyn amazed me again., He never really stared at anything, he would look for a lil bit but he had never focused on anything. He would just look then forget about it. Today he was playing with his bear thing that lights up and plays music and it has a couple hanging things for him to play with, well he stared at the lights and smiled and grabbed at the toys without missing them and got them. its like he was a blind child and now he isnt. The truth is he could always see but his vision was that of a newborns. Basically they have it but they dont know what to do with it. More n More everyday this lil guy improves. I think he likes this shunt. I hope so. So far his siezers are back under control. I think his body had to get use to getting less meds then he is used to. So im happy, seizer free all day today! YAY. I have to call tomorrow and set up his EEG again. I hate doing that to him becuase they strap him down and he wines and crys. Im going to try adn get in early early so he will sleep through it. They are talking about doing a sleep study today.

I Have been searching different states for childrens hospitals...incase i want to move someday, i really dont, im scared to move out of michigan. This is my comfort zone with Kadyn but if harvey gets his border patrol job then we may have to move, which sucks. I guess i woldnt have to move but if he goes Kadyn needs his father, and i have nothing really here. I dont know im just so worried but i guess ill worry when that time comes, if it ever comes. :-).

So i finally found my missing glasses so now i can see better LOL

As kadyn gets older he is starting to look more and more like his daddy. it amazes me. I have two pictures up there one of just kadyn and one of kadyn and his daddy. (harvey) and u can really see the resembalence now. I was looking at them today and just was like omg kadyn uhave ur daddys cheeks, lips, and his eye shapes, wow...i never noticed who exactly kadyn looked like for the longest time but now that his head is forming better and is much smaller you can start to tell who he is looking like more. Though he got my skin color, eye color and the hair color i was born with and the curly hair i was born with lol. HE looks like his daddy but lighter skined :-).

Babies grow so damn fast, it amazes me how eveyrone says omg look how big he is getting, but the fact is ...i feel like he has always been that big. Idk, He is still small for his age, he is in 9 month clothing, and those are still a lil big on him, but i have to remeber when he wasborn his body was soooo tiny, he was smaller than a preemie, those clothes were too big. He has gotten a lot bigger. I kinda miss him being smaller but than again im glad i am past that.

a year later here he is, Kadyn David Sterling, the baby that wasnt suppose to take his first breath, the baby who wouldnt make it home ever, the baby who wouldnt make it past his first infection, the lil guy who wasnt suppose to see six months, the lil man who promised would never see his first birthday. he came he saw and he conquered and he is still living life and enjoying it. He is happy to be alive, he thinks life is funny. He laughes at the wind blowing in his hair, he smiles when he goes in his car seat, and he talks to whole trip. he playes rolls grabs eats and soils his diapers. He says mama, and dada, sometimes baba. He is an amazing lil guy with a heart of gold to live.

I dont think ive ever been so in love with life....he completes my life and me. He makes me want to be a beter person and keeps me on my toes, he helps me remain strong and calm in alarming situations and he has taught me how precious life really is. You never know what may happen and you never know when something may happen so enjoy every breath he takes nad every smile i get :-)

Thats what i do, thats my job is to enjoy kadyns life...and mine. Im happy and he is a happy camper.