Head cold

I will be MIA on my blog until I get over this terrible head cold. I just don't hav the energy to type a lot right now. I barely have the energy to take care of Kadyn, but being a mommy never stops.

:) I hope everyone had a wonderful thanksgiving!!

I am so thankful

For Kadyn being home. For kadyn being back to himself. How exciting!

Even I laugh

When Michigan loses on thier own turf :-)

In my Mind I keep you frozen

Kadyn always has a way of smiling even when things are bad. Why can't everyone do that? Why can't every one just smile even when its raining?


Kadyn had a good day today. He played with his daddy most the day because I didn't get to sleep at all last night. I don't know I just tossed and turned. I finally got up and just went to walmart. Even at 7am there were people in blue and yellow buying beer for the game. It was kind of weird seeing that but I guess to avoid the rush!

Kadyn rolled and playing with Korona today. HE talked and he screamed and he laughed.

He is laughing and talking t me right now and kicking me. I am thankful :-)

I have been tagged :-)

My dearest friend Kristen who has a very beautiful daughter Cayman tagged me in her post today. How exciting! I feel blessed to know that she believes I am a Theta Mom. (True Authentic Mom)

Wow, I have never really considered myself an Authentic Mom, I just considered myself doing what any loving mother would do for their child, whether they are "normal" or have daily special needs, you fight for the best and what is right.

Before Kadyn, I imagined my life with the little hour, white picket fence, children running and playing tag in the backyard while I cooked dinner and my husband fixed things. It was the perfect life, but that has all changed now. I don't look forward to the future. I look forward to the here and now, and right here right now, I have the best little man as my son. I couldn't ask for more than what I have been given. Not only have I been blessed to give life, but I am blessed to give life to the most beautiful special little man.

I get my strength from Kadyn. Seeing what he has gone through, and knowing how hard it has to be on him, and yet he can still smile and he still loves life so much, gives me the strength to push on when everything is bad. We have weathers many storms, but we have done them together, and we will probably have many more storms to weather.

I do get stressed, and yes there are times where I break down and just think that I can't do this anymore. It's these times that I have learned the best way to regain myself is through putting Kadyn in a safe place (crib) and walking outside for a few minutes. Even if I just throw a ball to my dog, or take a shower, or run the vacuum, I can go back to Kadyn with a clear mind and a new game plan. Being a Mother is all about knowing when to just stop and rethink things and go back and try again. Its never about just giving up.


I am 23, I have grey hairs, but I am proud of them. They tell a story. A story about a girl who is constantly fighting for her child's life. When everyone else thought she wouldn't be able to do so because of her age, she proved them wrong, over and over again.


I get compliments from the doctors because I am able to tell them what he needs. When he is seizeing the medication he needs, I can tell them, that way they don't pump him full of medications that won't work. I am able to tell him is whole history off the top of my head without any problems. I can tell them all his shunt surgery dates and his port surgery dates. I can tell them exactly how many times he has been hospitalized and how many seizures he has had. I can tell them the medications he is on and the amount he takes and the time he takes them. I am able to help hold him down when they need to poke him, as most parents wouldn't be able to.

Being an Authentic Mom to me, is being able to love and care for your child no matter what life has thrown them. I think true mothers will just climb the highest mountain to make sure their child has everything they need. There is nothing that can come between Kadyn and me. He is my life.

If it wasn't for Kadyn, I wouldn't be the person I am today. I wouldn't be able to do what I am doing. I can't even remember life without him. He gives me a million reason's to smile everyday. He is what I live for. I love him!

I think to sum everything up, I live to see Kadyn Smile. His smiles through all his pain, if just....wow....amazing!


Although I am suppose to tag 5 people, I actually don't have 5 people I can tag. I have one person to tag, because well everyone else has been already!


I picked Tara! To raiseing 4 beautiful children being married to a military man, gosh, it must be amazing! Always so happy and always so loving! Michelle has really come along way and to hear how your children have molded you into such a wonderful mom with everything that you have been through would be amazing!!!

Sometimes I think too much..

The past two years have probably been the hardest, saddest, and happiest two years of my life. I have had many days where I am just thankful to have my little family. Other days, I get the feeling of being selfish for Kadyn going through all that he has gone through, but when I see him smile I realize that he isn't suffering. He is just going through some bumps in his road of life. Many people go through many bumps, sometimes mountains. I think Kadyn has about climb his mountain of medical messes. I feel blessed to know that Kadyn is happy no matter what life throws him. Then I wonder, why can't everyone else be this happy...no matter what life throws them. Kadyn doesn't know anything more than surgeries, seizures, hospitals, pokes, and all. This is his normal and it is a miserable normal, and yet he smiles more than anyone I know. I think he gets that from me. I am the type that no matter how horrible i feel, or how much I feel like I could cry, I always just smile. I always think to myself that tomorrow is another day and if its going to rain then I will just take it on. I have learned the past two years so much more about myself. Kadyn has taught me so much about myself!

Kadyn gets his special chair on Wednesday. I am excited. Minus the part were it can come anywhere between 9am and 6pm, but it's worth the wait to see Kadyn in his chair. :-)

What a Beautiful Day!!

So outside might of been ugly but in my house it was beautiful. It was sooo amazing to see my little Kadyn smile and act like he is feeling so much better! He didn't sleep all day today. He didn't even nap! I am so happy. Maybe since Kadyn isn't having as many seizures, it is taking him longer to recover from them when he does have them. I am hoping that there are no more seizures.

Today was an amazing day. Tomorrow I take Kadyn to see his neurologists and the dietitian. He is seeing the dietitian because they want to put him on the Ketogenic diet. I am hoping it works! He has to get blood work and then be admitted for a couple weeks, yes weeks, just to watch for malnutrition. Make sure he tolerates it. I don't want to be there for a couple weeks but if this means helping my son not have seizures anymore, I am 100% all for it!

I will update tomorrow on what is going on. Whenever we get home. You never know if they are busy or not.