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Friday, November 20, 2009

I have been tagged :-)

My dearest friend Kristen who has a very beautiful daughter Cayman tagged me in her post today. How exciting! I feel blessed to know that she believes I am a Theta Mom. (True Authentic Mom)

Wow, I have never really considered myself an Authentic Mom, I just considered myself doing what any loving mother would do for their child, whether they are "normal" or have daily special needs, you fight for the best and what is right.

Before Kadyn, I imagined my life with the little hour, white picket fence, children running and playing tag in the backyard while I cooked dinner and my husband fixed things. It was the perfect life, but that has all changed now. I don't look forward to the future. I look forward to the here and now, and right here right now, I have the best little man as my son. I couldn't ask for more than what I have been given. Not only have I been blessed to give life, but I am blessed to give life to the most beautiful special little man.

I get my strength from Kadyn. Seeing what he has gone through, and knowing how hard it has to be on him, and yet he can still smile and he still loves life so much, gives me the strength to push on when everything is bad. We have weathers many storms, but we have done them together, and we will probably have many more storms to weather.

I do get stressed, and yes there are times where I break down and just think that I can't do this anymore. It's these times that I have learned the best way to regain myself is through putting Kadyn in a safe place (crib) and walking outside for a few minutes. Even if I just throw a ball to my dog, or take a shower, or run the vacuum, I can go back to Kadyn with a clear mind and a new game plan. Being a Mother is all about knowing when to just stop and rethink things and go back and try again. Its never about just giving up.

I am 23, I have grey hairs, but I am proud of them. They tell a story. A story about a girl who is constantly fighting for her child's life. When everyone else thought she wouldn't be able to do so because of her age, she proved them wrong, over and over again.

I get compliments from the doctors because I am able to tell them what he needs. When he is seizeing the medication he needs, I can tell them, that way they don't pump him full of medications that won't work. I am able to tell him is whole history off the top of my head without any problems. I can tell them all his shunt surgery dates and his port surgery dates. I can tell them exactly how many times he has been hospitalized and how many seizures he has had. I can tell them the medications he is on and the amount he takes and the time he takes them. I am able to help hold him down when they need to poke him, as most parents wouldn't be able to.

Being an Authentic Mom to me, is being able to love and care for your child no matter what life has thrown them. I think true mothers will just climb the highest mountain to make sure their child has everything they need. There is nothing that can come between Kadyn and me. He is my life.

If it wasn't for Kadyn, I wouldn't be the person I am today. I wouldn't be able to do what I am doing. I can't even remember life without him. He gives me a million reason's to smile everyday. He is what I live for. I love him!

I think to sum everything up, I live to see Kadyn Smile. His smiles through all his pain, if!

Although I am suppose to tag 5 people, I actually don't have 5 people I can tag. I have one person to tag, because well everyone else has been already!

I picked Tara! To raiseing 4 beautiful children being married to a military man, gosh, it must be amazing! Always so happy and always so loving! Michelle has really come along way and to hear how your children have molded you into such a wonderful mom with everything that you have been through would be amazing!!!


Kristen said...

Wow, Sara, your words are so beautifully written. You are a real, true, and loving Mom.

Kristen said...

Tara is a great pick...she is definitely a Theta Mom too!

Tara said...

Thank you Sara.