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Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Wondering Minds

I always wonder, what is going on through Kadyns head. As he sits there and he remains silent, just staring in wonder at his surroundings. Right now he is on his belly, which is rare and he is just looking and smiling ever so often. Does he think about the times that someone has had him belly laughing, or is he thinking about how tomorrow we will be going to pick daddy up from the airport. I always wondered where Kadyn went, when he was just staring. Is he off in his own world, in a place where everything is awesome. Where ever he is at, it's where I'd like to be sometimes. My amazing little guy, getting so big, so heavy. Soon he is going to be too heavy to carry anymore. That day will actually sadden me. He amazes me everyday. The little guy who isn't suppose to be breathing, living, moving, or saying any words, does exactly all that. He isn't the "vegetable" that they said he would be. He can roll every where he wants to do, or scoot himself. He knows how to get his mama worked up, and he knows when she isn't there. Kadyn can sense when someone is in the room with him or if he is alone. He can also sence if it's me or anyone else. But still I wonder, what is he thinking, when I tell him No, don't kick your crib and he smiles at me and does it harder. What is he thinking right before he goes to sleep. What does he dream about, when his dreams are good. When he smiles and starts laughing out of no where, are angels tickleing him? When he laughs in his sleep, what is he dreaming? There are so many questions I wish I could answer, but if I had answers what fun would wondering be anymore. I enjoy the guessing game, the making up what could be. The fact that he lets my imagination run wild, is amazing. He sweet blue eyes, and innocent smile, make everyday worth while. I don't imagine I'd have my life any other way. Even through the really bad times, and through this whole deployment, on the days I thought I wouldn't make it through, his smile pulled me through. Kadyn's smile is very addicting, and it's contagious. How can you not smile at a childs smile knowing all he has been through. I'm blessed that he is able to smile, and that he is able to express his feelings. I have so many things to be thankful for, that it makes me forget about the things that I am saddened for.

Tomorrow is the big day, it got pushed back a day because of TB testing, LAME! So tonight I'll make Harvey's Reese Fudge Bars, and I'll get things ready for his return. Freshen up his clothing by washing them, and buy his soaps and shampoo that he uses. Also clean the Jeep out, since he will be riding home in that. I need to put Kadyn's stoller in the house for tomorrow, so there is room for Harvey's bags. I am so so excited. I bought steaks, potatoes, garlic, onion, and corn to make for his dinner that night, hopefully he won't want to go out to eat, but if he does there is always Friday night or Saturday.


Ola Kopacz said...

Thanks for this beautiful post! I actually read it twice, as it made me think about my own little guy and how much I love him. He's only 17 months old and growing so fast and I love to wonder what is going through his mind.
Everything you write shows how much you love Kadyn and Harvey - it's so uplifting to read!
Have a wonderful, blessed day tomorrow. I'm so happy that your family will be reunited.