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Wednesday, July 4, 2012

Thunder Storms

We can relate to the weather. One day it's nice and sunny, we can go on about our days like there is nothing wrong. Like nothing can stop us. Then out of no where, a pop up storm comes along and drenches us. The wind blows around breaking down trees, knocking over canopies. The power may or may not go out, pending on how bad the storm is. Perhaps a tornado may happen. Seems to be the story of those with Hydrocephalus too. A malfunction kind of just pops up and rips through the body. The only difference is a storm will stop on it's own, and a malfunctioning shunt needs surgery.

Kadyn having had 20+ shunt related surgeries, he has shared his fair travels through this winding road. He was witnessed the storm, been through it and have come out on top. Perhaps Kadyn is the tornado to this storm. No matter what he has more strength than this storm. He can over power the storm, and rip through it. We have been blessed that this storm has taken a sudden turn for the best. Like the eye of the storm when things are calm. I don't want to say we are in the eye or the storm, perhaps we have passed it, with Hydrocephalus it's really something you can not tell. I do know, that a 2 year old shunt is not as rare as it used to be. He recently has surgery on his shunt, but it was just a flush to flush out any blockages. Still the same shunt since April 1st of 2010.

Although Kadyn has his bad days and his good days, the sun is always shining for him. You can see his happiness in his eyes, his smile, his laugh.

I am thankful Kadyn does not know the cruelty of this world. Although I take him out and people stare, Kadyn doesn't notice like I do. He still is happy and smiling. He doesn't judge, nor does he know his mom is being judges by many. He does know that his mommy and daddy do not care what others think. I think Kadyn is a true blessing in this world. He has brought out the best in me. He molded me and showed me how to be an amazing mother. Kadyn made me a mother, which is the biggest gift he could of ever given me.

I do know these past 5 years have been a huge challenge. Seizures, surgeries, hospital stays, ect. I would not change things for anything. The experience of raising a child who will always need me is and overwhelming joy. Knowing that Kadyn counts on me for everything fills my heart with joy. Kadyn will always need his mommy and daddy. He will always love us no matter what. Although I have my times where I wish he can be just like any other 5 year old, I am thankful I was blessed with the privileged of being a Special needs Mommy.

Being a special needs mommy is the most empowering thing in the world. Being able to be a walking medical book, knowing what to do for every situation, being able to tell the doctors what need to be done, is just amazing. This isn't something that can be made felt better with Mommy's kisses, this is something that will only make him feel better when given the proper medical care.

Who ever thought they would feel so blessed knowing their child had all these needs. Who would of thought they would ever be put in this situation. What 20 year old is actually ready for this? I know I wasn't. Being 25 not, I still don't think I am ready, but I am doing the best I can. I am doing everything I can to ensure my son is happy. Independence, walking, talking, self feeding, all of these mile stones, are hopes and dreams I have for him, unlike mothers of children who are not medically fragile wish for health, happiness, good grades, college, good jobs, amazing families, ect.

As Kadyn lays sleeping right now, I watch every breath he takes, thinking these are breaths he was not guaranteed. Medically according to doctors, these breaths should not be happening, but God says Breath baby boy Breath, and Here he breaths. I count them, 1,2,3,4,5,6,7 ect. I watch him, knowing the in the morning, he will be spending the day with his daddy. Enjoying his time.

Happy 5th Birthday Again my Handsome Son. Here is too many more Birthdays!


Anonymous said...

Bless you, Sarah! God loves Kadyn, and God loves you!