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Monday, April 15, 2013

What if

Many people have been put in situations where they will question, "What if?" Some "What if's" I think are better left as is. I was asked the other day by a friend. "Do you ever think about what if?" "What do you mean?" "Like, What if Kadyn didn't have all the issues and he as "normal"?"

I didn't even have to think about that answer because I know 1 thing. The only thing during this journey that has ever mattered to me is Kadyn's happiness. I think he is happy just the way he is. Why want, wish or need to change it? I have a child who can see, yet he is blind to the horrors that this world can hold, he can hear but the tragedies that life can bring fall on deaf's ears, he can smile, laugh, and play, in his own way. What more could I ask for? The only thing I would change would be his conditions and the required treatments, the surgeries, any pain he has faced I would change that, but Kadyn's ability to see the world as a peaceful and happy place I would never take that away from him. I could never do that. I love Kadyn for who he is, and always will. I'll never wish anything more or less of him. I'll continue to advocate for him, and be his strength. I'll push him to his full potential. I will protect him and I will teach him. Kadyn won't ever have to feel the pain of being bullied, he won't ever have to know emotional pain, I wish he didn't have to know physical pain.

How can anyone want to sit there and take a child who is completely happy just the way he is and want to change him? It would be totally selfish of me to want anything more than who Kadyn is. Kadyn is my whole world, and soon that will be shared with a little brother. I'll have the best of both worlds soon. Kadyn was put in my life for a reason, to make me stronger, to make me grow up, to make me happier. He has continued to bless mine and his fathers life, his strength and will to live through any situation he has been has been my inspiration.

Kadyn is the only person here on earth that has heard my heart beat from the inside, and he knows my heart beats for him! So the real answer to the question is....that there is no What If's and there is no questioning, Kadyn is normal, he is his own normal and I wouldn't change that for anything. I'm thankful and blessed to have the child that I have and I wouldn't change anything, I would not change MY LIFE at all.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

This truely made my night. And even though I haven't met him, I have watched him grow on facebook and through this blog and you're doing a fantastic job as a mother. I wouldn't change him either. :)

Duckee

Anonymous said...

Wonderful post, Sara. Regards from Spain,
Maria

Anonymous said...

You are a pillar of strength. You are an inspiration. I don't know you, but I don't have to, to know this about you. It all shows in kadyn.