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Thursday, May 23, 2013

The things people ask

This post may offend some, or not. Although I need to sort of vent a bit here. Since Kadyn was born I've been asked many questions. So many questions that I don't even know the answer to. Questions that you want to answer in a positive manner to keep the hope alive instead of just letting others see the reality you face. Let's list some of these questions.

What do they say his outcome is going to be?
What I want to say:
Wait? Who the heck are they? Whoever they are, they are not saying anything. His outcome is whatever GOD and Kadyn decides.

What I really have said: They just say take it a day at a time.

Will he ever be able to talk?

What I want to say.
Does it really matter? Kadyn has learned a few words. We have also learned what he wants and or needs through his cries, yells and hollering. He communicates in his own way. I mean do I really want to teach my child to talk back to me when I say no?

What I really say:
Well we keep working with him so hopefully one day he will learn to talk.

Will he have his shunt forever?

What I want to say:

What I say:
Sadly, Yes

Do you ever imagine him running around like a normal child?

What I want to say:
 Yes I do, and then someone brings their hyper, wild crazy, non listening child to my house, and I am thankful Kadyn is not like that. Of course I have, and I do. It's fun to dream, but I accept Kadyn as he is. I love him and appreciate the things he can do, but I also appreciate that he can not draw on my walls with marker or crayon, and he won't cry because it's time to go home from the park.

What I really say:
Yes, I do imagine it. It's a wonderful thing to hope for.

When will Kadyn start eating solids?

What I want to say:
Well, when he is good and ready to. I can't predict his future and exactly when things will happen

What I really say:
We are working on it.

What do they say about Kadyn walking? Will he ever be able to walk?

What I want to say:
Once again. WHO ARE THEY? Kadyn will walk when he walks. We can't predict his future, we can't make him do something he doesn't want to do. Who cares, is it ok that he can't walk yet?

What I really say:
Hopefully soon, we are working really hard on it.

There are so many more questions I can list. I get asked all the time. I really don't mind answering questions, but when they are about Kadyn's future I just don't know. I am not looking into Kadyn's future. I am living in our here and now. Right now is what matters. Kadyn's today is more important than his tomorrow. When tomorrow comes it'll be more important that his yesterday. I want Kadyn to achieve his milestones, will it bother me if he doesn't? No, because I love him either way. I love taking care of him. I love the fact that Kadyn will always need his mommy and daddy. This doesn't bother me a bit. Kadyn won't ever get mad and throw a temper tantrum and yell and scream about how much he hates me. Kadyn does not know hate, he does not know what it is like to not like someone. He only knows love. He only knows kindness. He may know a bit of a frustrated mommy sometimes, but he doesn't see that side of me too often. I mean in all honesty if you must ask me a question about Kadyn, ask me how is he doing. Ask me how much he weighs, or how tall he is. Ask me if he needs anything.  Ask me how school is going for him, or what he does in school. Just don't ask me to predict his future, or ask me what they say. I don't know who they are, but THEY do not have a say in anything.