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Saturday, August 16, 2008

So i live with myparents for now until we get back on our feet. Well Kadyn has his own room and ihave mine.My dad has this thing for always wanting to check on him while he is sleeping, that really bugs me, i know its meaningless but iguess that makes me feel like he thinks im not doing my mommy job, but i shouldnt have to check on him. He is a year old, im over the stage of waking up every 2 min to check and make sure he is breathing seriously. Well tonight he comes down stairs at MIDNIGHT, okay, and i ususally leave kadyns light on until he falls asleep, just because he plays so i let him have the light on, well kadyn had just stopped fussing from being over tired and he is laying just looking all around and my dad goes in there and startes playing with him, i bite my tounge for so long, then i was like DAD SERIOUSLY ITS MIDNIGHT IM TRYIN TO GET HIM TO SETTLE DOWN, NOW YOUR GOING TO GO UPSTAIRS AND SLEEP WHILE I DEAL WITH HIM BEING FUSSY FROM YOU PLAYING WITH HIM! My dad was like oh he will whine a little then fall asleep. Okay its been an hour almost, and kadyns in there still awake. Thanks dad. I mean i shouldnt of gotten mad, but he isnt the one who has to get up in the morning with him, and feed him diaper him and play with him, then lay him down for his ONLY nap. He isnt the one who has to stay awake with him until he falls asleep. Now im sooo tired right now, but i cant sleep unless i know kadyn is sound asleep. IM sooo angry right now!! I mean should i be so angry over it. Its something i will get over in the morning, but still have some respect and leave kadyn be after a certain time, and you odnt need to check on him, he is OKAY! Trust me i know. I guess its something i have to deal with until i move out.

I also have my mom who likes to tell me things i already know, nad ask me if i packed things that I KNOW I have to pack, i guess when they do it over and over again it gets annoying and then i get annoyed to the point i get attitude.
I get my mom asking me, did you pack enough food, did you pack diapers. Put a sweater on kadyn its chilly out, put kadyn in a light outfit its hot out. Hurry up and get him dress(after a bath) he will get cold. Its just stuff that i know, things that any NEW mother would know. I means i do ask for her opinion on some things but darn chill out i know what im doing. I just dont get it. I raised my nephew for 2 years and i baby sat my neice for one year and watched my niece and nephew together, the baby sat my other nephew here and there for 6 months. I think i know how to care for a child, and the fact that i know how to care for a specail needs child, i think i got this whole mother thing downpacted. hehe.

i guess im just frustrated with things around here...


Kristen said...

I can understand why that would all be frustrating to you. It's hard for parents to not "parent" their child no matter what age they are. It's really sweet your dad loves Kadyn so much and showers him with so much attention but playtime is definitely not at nighttime. It's a difficult balance you have to carry. You're living in your parents' home so you have to respect their "rules", but you also need your own set of "rules" so that you and can Kadyn can have your structure. That's a tough balance....two adult families under one roof, that definitely has its challenges.