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Thursday, September 4, 2008

What a day

Today was just like any other day pretty much. Kadyn is doing soooo good its amazing.

I think im pretty close to getting fired. I dont know what im going to do if that happens. My bills, Kadyn, adn I depend on this job. If I lose it, i dont know what im going to do. IM already struggleing enough to make ends meet. I got Kadyn his headrest. It has yet to come in, im sooooo angry. I thought it would be within a couple weeks but i guess i was wrong. IM sooo upset. Wednesday i totally forgot about Kadyns therapy. Im very upset with myself about that. I really did feel irresponsible. I felt horrible. I was tooo worried about Kadyn going to see the peditrcian that i totally forgot about his therapy in the morning.
Im looking outside and im noticeing that it is VERY dark out, i mean scary dark. I know its night but darn its sooo dark. Kadyn is on the floor drinking his bottle. He is talking a little. IM very sad because Harvey is gone unitl Sunday, he is at army. I miss him being around Kaydn. Idk know, Harvey is my BEST FRIEND, even though we arent together i still love himwith all my heart. I love seeing him so happy with Kadyn. I love them two being together. I feel like i've accomplished something, like I just idk.I feel all giddy and happy and excited. I could just sit for hours and watch harvey make kadyn laugh and watch harvey smile over him. Imean there are somethings harvey doesnt do, but i dont think that makes him love kadyn anyless. I think maybe harvey just doesnt like hospitals (bad experience?) I guess as long as harvey stays in kadyns life and loves him i should just be happy for that right? At least harvey is giving me a little bit of money every time he gets paid, it isnt much but its enought to by diapers when he needs them.

Im hoping i can get Kadyns SSI back, if i can im going to most likely quit. Im not sure, now that Kadyn is seeing another physical therapist, this is just going to be soo hectic. I mean i've got Wednesday's therapy and whatever this other therapist does im not sure. im a little nervous but i know this will get Kadyn pushing along. Seeing as he isnt far far behind they think he will just need some pushing to get him to walk and talk. But they have full confidence that he will walk one day, The goal is to have him holding his head up in 6 months or less, even if he can only hold it for 5 minutes...they fact is he will be able to. Im going to go now, kadyn is about to fall asleep so im going to put him in his bed.