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Sunday, March 1, 2009

So much for looking at the positive side

Kadyn still decided it would be a fun time to just stay up all night. SO once again after being up with him all day and all night all weekend long I did it again. What was I thinking when I hoped his dad would help a little. Oh well. Thats okay. At least I know Kadyn got taken care of. My goal for the new year is to look at the positive side of everything, that is what I told myself that I would do. So here is step one.

Even though Harvey doesn't spend any time maybe 5 minutes a day with Kadyn, I'll look at is as, more time for my to spend with Kadyn

Just because Harvey doesn't go to any doctors appointments at all, I am going to look at it as, Kadyn needs me more when he is in the hospital and it feels great to be needed the most.

Just because Harvey doesn't do as much as I would like him to do, it gives me something to do during the day. 

Sleep? Whats sleep? I'll let Harvey sleep because he will be missing out on Kadyn not me. I'll stay up forever if I have to. 

It's time to change things. Knowing that soon it will be all over and I'll be moved out on my own makes me feel better. So I am going to just stay positive, enjoy the lil 5 minutes breaks I get and sleep when I can. 

Kadyn is helping a lot with this whole positive thing. He laughes whenever I ask Harvey to do something for me. I know he doesn't know whats going on really when it comes to that, but to me its cute. It's like he knows it most likely won't get done.

Kadyn has been doing really good though. He has been happy, no throwing up anymore, must of been a one time thing. Tomorrow his Great-Grandma wants him, but I am probably just going to keep him home since his schedule is all messed up. I don't want them to have to stay up all night because he wants to. Until I get his schedule changed he can just stay home. I don't think we are going to go over there for dinner either, well I am not. I think I am going to make Harvey take Kadyn over there and I think I am going to go out with my friends to dinner or whatever. I just need my friends right now. 

I'll have to come home and prolly stay up all night with Kadyn but oh well. I am used to that now. Nothing new there. 

Well I am going to try and get some shut eye Kadyn just fell  asleep. I'll have to get up with him in an hour to give him his medications.


Creative Nurse with a Travel Bug said...

It's a challenge to get the people who *should* be involved with children to *be* involved with children. You have such a hard struggle beyond the normal challenges of parenting, and to do it alone (or fight for help) sucks beyond measure.

Gretchen said...


I read your blog almost everyday. You are a source of inspiration for me. I have a son also, he has some special needs but not of the type Kadyn has. I am a special education teacher. Anyway, my child's father is apathetic as well. He never helps and denies that our son even has issues. I'm 37 and at your age, I don't know if I could have ever been as strong as you are. I would like to, no, I would be honored and blessed if you would consider letting us help you and Kaydn in some way. If there are things you need, I can send them. If you need some money, I would love to share what I have with you. I realize I am a stranger but I feel more like a friend. You can see my child at and you can reach me at gretchen underscore stewart at yahoo. I suppose it might seem strange to ask a stranger for help but please, please do so if you guys need anything. I want to help if I can. Please take care and I think you already know that it is likely thousands of people read your story everyday and are in prayer for you 24/7. Take Care! Gretchen n Ari