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Tuesday, March 3, 2009


I have no clue what's going on. Kadyn isn't really himself, and I want him home, but something deep down inside of me is just telling me to not take him home. I don't know. It seems to me that maybe, just maybe there could be something more than what is obvious. Why is Kadyn having so much trouble with seizure control? Why can't they get this right? I am just really upset. Last night I was forced to go home and get rest because I wasn't sleeping. Do you really think I slept at home? Both of my babies are in the hospital. Korona (my dog) went in to get spayed today, and here is Kadyn at Childrens Hospital. I am really starting to get annoyed by all this. I just want a normal life for at least 2 months. Give me 2 months of normal and I'll be set for along time. I have told them a million times that since Kadyn's last infection his seizures have increase by a lot. He went from having them every once in awhile and them not being so bad to him having them every 2 weeks to a month. They are worse too, and they keep getting worse, and they keep getting harder to control. I am just so sad I guess. 

I am starving but I am waiting for Neurology to do their rounds. Kadyn keeps having these stares, and like it takes him a few minutes to even respond. Normally he responds right away.  I don't know. I am going to run it by his nurse when she comes back from her lunch. I'd run it by the other nurse taking over for her but she, well, she is a nice person, but very forgetful. His Oxygen levels have been low for him. 98 is low for him, it's always 100. So I don't know. His heart rate has been 113-120's. Yesterday his O2 level wouldn't go up above 89, and his heart rate was at 202. I just don't know anymore. 

I just want him to get better. This is really hard on him, but it is on me too. I can only pray that there is a reason for all of this. I can only pray that maybe I will get my 2 months of normal life here soon. Kadyn is asleep now. 

The hospital is too depressing and today seems really depressing. I don't know. There is just a lot of terrible things going on and it sickens me how parents are so irresponsible. That is all I am going to say. 

Well, I can only hope that maybe something, some kind of miracle will help Kadyn. I pray every night for his health, and that maybe we can get some kind of medication to help him. 


Kristen said...

How tired and frustrated you must be feeling! You have been through so much with many hospital stays. That is exhausting. I hope you can find something that works and can bring you even more than 2 normal months.

Anonymous said...

guess I will change my little prayer mantra to

I pray that Kadyn is strong
I pray that they find the reason for the seizures soon
I pray that Kadyn is well soon
I pray that Kadyn STAYS well!

Hippo said...

I'm so so sorry to hear all of these keeps happening to Kadyn. I really hope he gets better soon!

Anonymous said...

I hope you don't have any reservations about expressing any concerns/informing the medical staff of your observations - - and making sure things that you think should be documented (charted) are put done so by the nursing staff... all too often they don't see the things that you are there to observe (whether they are something you actually see or of a more intuitive nature).