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Monday, May 17, 2010

Broken down...

Why am I discouraged? Why is my heart so sad? I will put my hope in God! I will praise him again - my Savior and my God!

~ Psalms 42:11

Today I had my first break down since Harvey has been gone. I don't know why but between Kadyn's mood with this weather and starting to feel totally alone I just lost it. I cried for a good 20 minutes and then I got my head together and prayed. I felt a lot better after I prayed. I prayed for strength and I prayed that God would wipe my tears and give me happiness through this situation. It helped a lot.

I then walked in my room to see Kadyn napping. I thanked God for the peace and quiet I would have the next hour-2 hours. So I decided to nap. I woke up to a happy, smiling, laughing toddler and I felt peace in my heart. This weather has just been rough for Kadyn. He is so weather sensitive. I feel so terrible when it rains because I know he has to have the worst headache in the world. I try to comfort him but he doesn't like to be held and doesn't want to be bothered, so I make sure he has his babe and I lay/sit next to him. Thankfully today I was able to get a bunch of running done, although I wasn't able to go get his formula I will do that tomorrow. Also I have to send out Harvey's package and try and find Duck Invitations, if not I will just settle for whatever.


Kristen said...

I bet it is hard to have Harvey gone. I'm so glad you were able to find some peace and rest, both in spirit and in body. I pray that can continue for you.

Colette said...

We dont know each other, in fact I live in Ireland, but I came across your blog and have felt such compassion and empathy towards you! Kaydn is such a beautiful wee boy but I can imagine how hard it must be for you coping on your own! Stay strong for God is good! Your in my prayers and I pray that peace and rest your feeling continues for you both!