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Sunday, May 9, 2010

Today is Mother's Day

This will be my third mothers day but it's a first for me. This is my first mothers day not in the hospital with my little guy. Although the past week seemed really gloomy and I thought being in the hospital was going to happen, something yesterday made him cheer up and not be so cranky anymore. Thank God! I prayed a lot. I prayed for patience and I prayed for Kadyn's health. I just really talked to God and asked him to please, if anything, please, let me have this one day home with a son who is feeling good.

I still sometimes am so amazed how I am a mother. I feel it but I don't praise myself on it. I feel like it's something I was born to do. That my whole reason for living is to be a mommy. It's what I have always wanted. I always wanted children, although I would tell everyone I never want kids. Even though it's mothers day, I have to thank Kadyn for making me a mommy. He had gone through so much and has turned out to be such a happy toddler.

Being a mommy to me is not just making sure your child has a full belly or new clothes or awesome shoes. Being a mommy is about loving your child and putting them first. Being a mommy is about holding your baby's hand when they need reassurance. It's about tickles, laughs, kisses, hugs, and I love you's! Kadyn may not have the newest coolest, name brand clothes (and if he does they are hand-me-downs lol) but he has a whole lot of love from me and to me that is what matters. I loved Kadyn from the first time I laid eyes on him. Even though he was born with his condition and he may not be able to do all the things kids his age does, I still have my baby and that is what matters to me! God gave me this miracle and he did so for a reason. God gave Kadyn a purpose on this earth and although I am still trying to figure it out I know one day he will revile this to me or even Kaydn.