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Sunday, September 12, 2010

Church today

I really have enjoyed going to church lately. Things seem more at peace and I feel so much love when I am surrounded by God's people. All my brothers of the Lord and my sisters of the Lord in once place, singing and worshiping our God. Seems like the place to be everyday not just on Sundays. Today we had a teaching on just trusting the Bible and not what scientist are trying to prove. So after that amazing teaching on that, Sean (the one doing the teachings) came up to me and told me that my son is truely a blessing. I about fell on my knees and came to tears. Those words, something I have always heard, but usually I read it on here, never has that been said to me outloud. I prayed today. Along time. I told myself that for now on I am going to trust God with my son. That no matter what happens Kadyn is safe. God will keep his hands on him. I will no longer worry about what tomorrow will bring, because honestly, I am so scared that one day I'll wake up and Kadyn won't be there. I have this terrible fear and worry in the back of my mind. It keeps me up all night, it makes me watch and count my sons breaths, it's bringing me down spirtually, but no longer will that happen. I heard a quote today, this quote it's, just so amazing!

"Worry is the opposite of faith, It steals our peace, physically wears us out, and can even make us sick."

This quote right here, made me just weap. I had a few tears run down my face and I looked at Kadyn and promised him that I would change. I will be a more rested mama, I won't stay up all night in worry. I won't worry about his shunt 24/7. I can't act like it isn't there, but I can go on throughout to day and know that there is nothing wrong with it. God is keep his hands on Kadyn, God is healing Kadyn. I know this. I thank God for everything, for loving me, my son, my friends and family and I thank him for changeing me. Church today opened my eyes, it made me realize that God made all of this for us. He made it for us to apprictiate it and so many of us just take advantage of it. Like tonight as I was walking out to the camper, I stopped and I stared at the moon and the stars and I just thanked God for them. I thank God for the changeing seasons, the crickets and the frogs I hear. I thank him for the son and the clouds and the sky. I notice the beauty of the earth that we live on. The leaves are starting to change, how beautiful is that! I thank the Lord! Everything we have been given, everything has been from the Lord. My son Kadyn, God knew what he was doing when he made hiim, God knew I would be strong enough and I think God made Kadyn to bring me back closer to him., That was his little hint! I am truely blessed as a mother, sister, daughter and soon to be wife. I have everything I need in this life, and I thank the Lord for it!


Megan at My Heart, My Home said...

I just happened upon your blog by seeing one of your videos of Kadyn. It is a beautiful thing to see how loving you are to him :) And God does truly know what He's doing. He sees all of the sacrifices you make to care for Kadyn, and I pray He blesses you with comfort and peace.