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Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Everyday is a true blessing

Yesterday we a dear friend of mine lost her son. I am not sure of the details nor would I even post them here but do know he had Hydrocephalus just like Kadyn, although I do not think Hydro is the cause. Zayvier was an amazing happy bright little boy. He enjoyed singing and his mommy loved him so much. We were blessed enough to meet them when they drove here to Michigan to visit us. I have yet been able to travel to where she lives with Kadyn's health and then my pregnancy it was just impossible at the time. I'll never understand why God takes babies so young but I know it's all part of His plan and I trust Him. It's just scary since Kadyn is Zayvier's age as well. It's all too close to home and the only thing I can do is pray for healing over her family.

With all that said and the sadness still in my heart, this is all just a reminder of how everyday with Kadyn is a true blessing and it shall continued to be cherished. People like Kadyn are so fragile and when they are healthy you often forget how fragile their little bodies are. Even those with healthy babies need to cherish the moments they have because you never know what tomorrow will bring.

I've often have sat and wondered how much time I'll have with Kadyn. Every beginning has an ending, there is no such thing as forever. It doesn't exist, so why the word even exists is beyond me. With Kadyn's fragile medical conditions it always worries me when he gets a cold, ear infection, flu, virus, or any infection. These which may seem so small to those who are healthy are huge to Kadyn. Kadyn has epilepsy with many triggers. Fever being the biggest one. Kadyn seized for 25 minutes the other day due to a high fever caused by an ear infection. This is why when people are sick, I stress that they stay way. I know Kadyn is exposed to the elements everyday with him going to school, but I don't need him being exposed in his own home.

I have more fear of losing Kadyn now than when I was pregnant with him. I would go crazy. I know this. I just can't imagine losing him ever. My whole life has revolved around him for the past 6 years. I've done everything in my power to get him where he is today and to have that taken away from me...would just kill me. I pray that I have many days with him. I pray he out lives me and that his baby brother Kyle will continue to care for Kadyn. Kyle I can tell already will have a huge heart. He will be sweet as pie and love everyone. Raising him along side Kadyn I'll teach Kyle not to judge anyone. He will be an amazing little man.

I just ask that everyone hug their children more, be there for them more, kiss them and teach them love and kindness. You never know what tomorrow will bring.

Rest in Peace my sweet little friend Zayvier. I'll always think of you and even though we only met 1 time, you lit up my world forever. I'll remember you swimming at the hotel, humming to the music of every toy Kadyn has, Being on the boat and the exciting squeals you had when we would go under a bridge. Having to leave the restaurant because you didn't want to sit and eat. Going to the Hydro walk together and you being such a good boy! May God bring healing and peace to your mommy Zay during this difficult time.